


Just another night in Pleasantville

by nekosmuse_archive (nekosmuse)



Category: Big Wolf on Campus, Without a Trace
Genre: Crack, Crossover, Humor, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-07
Updated: 2020-04-07
Packaged: 2021-03-01 22:02:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,518
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23534269
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nekosmuse/pseuds/nekosmuse_archive
Summary: Written pre 2005. Posted for archival purposes.It was a simple plan (crossover with Without a Trace).
Relationships: Martin Fitzgerald/Danny Taylor, Tommy Dawkins/Merton Dingle
Comments: 1
Kudos: 5





	Just another night in Pleasantville

The plan was simple. So simple, in fact, that he was surprised he hadn't thought of it earlier --granted, the reason he *hadn't* thought of it earlier was very likely related to its simplicity, Merton preferring elaborate plans to… well, less elaborate plans.

It had taken him a while to find what he was looking for; days of searching, in fact, when he should have been working on his term paper for his morning history class, but that was beside the point.

The point was he *had* found it and it had only taken him three hours of constant clicking to finally outbid his competition --some geek at NYU (according to his user ID) that likely didn't know an arrow's fletching from its pile.

Now all he had to do was wait, something he'd never been very good at, which would explain why he was standing next to his mail box waiting for the mail lady to show up. Why he'd spent the better part of the last three days standing next to his mailbox waiting for his inevitable package and…

"Good morning," Merton said the second she stepped through the door, ignoring the way she rolled her eyes upon once again finding him there. "By chance, do you have anything in that bag for a Merton J. Dingle?" he asked, friendly grin spreading across his face.

"Good morning, Merton. And no, I… oh wait."

Merton held his breath. Quivered in anticipation.

"This is yours," she finished, pulling out a package and Merton let out a delighted squeal before grabbing the package, grinning broadly before dashing out the door.

He waited until he was safely back in his dorm room, checking twice to ensure Tommy wasn't around before setting the package on his desk, running his hands across the not-quite-smooth cardboard.

"It came," he announced to the room, reaching for a letter opener (the one with the faux pearl handle because it had always been his favourite and this was a special occasion) before using it to split open the tape running down the centre of the box.

"Newspaper, peanuts, peanuts, oooh, bubble wrap, more peanuts… Eureka!"

And there it was. The fabled bow, complete with arrows, that was once used by Cupid himself.

Merton smiled to himself and began plotting exactly how he was going to shoot Tommy and then get Tommy's attention fast enough for Merton to be the first person Tommy saw.

And Lori had told him he should just be direct. ::snort:: Right, because that would go over well. Besides, his plans were always infinitely superior and this was quite possibly the most brilliant plan he'd ever come up with.

~*~

When they'd left New York, the sky had been dark with rain, the air slightly chilly, so it was a surprise to step out into the California sun, warmth resonating and Martin shrugged out of his jacket, folding it neatly in half before tucking it under his arm.

"Martin, over here," Danny shouted from across the parking lot, standing next to their rental car and Martin nodded before jogging over to join him.

By the time he reached the car, Danny had already slid into the driver's seat, leaving Martin with no choice but to climb into the passenger's side. Danny was halfway out of the parking lot before Martin had a chance to fasten his seatbelt.

"You know where you're going?" Martin asked, tone teasing, because teasing Danny was always a fun way to pass the time.

Danny didn't dignify Martin with a response, instead tossing over the map that had been sitting on his lap, Pleasantville circled in red and Martin chuckled before assuming the role of navigator.

"Right at the stop sign," he said, Danny rolling his eyes, but the corner of his lip quirked into a smirk, so Martin knew he wasn't upset.

~*~

"Tommy!"

Merton skidded to a halt, barely stopping himself from bowling Tommy over. Tommy's hands settled on his shoulders, the only thing that kept Merton from rebounding backward to sprawl on his ass in the middle of the floor.

"Merton, where have you been?" Tommy asked, Merton dismissing the question with a wave of his hand because there was no way in hell was going to confess to waiting around the mail room.

"Tommy, I think something weird is going on," Merton began, only then noticing the increased police presence, as well as the yellow crime scene tape blocking off half the hall.

Well there went his plan to convince Tommy to do some investigating that might lead to Tommy turning his back so that Merton could begin Phase Two of his plan.

"You're just noticing?" Tommy replied, Merton frowning at Tommy's tone and Tommy held his hands up in mock surrender. "One of the students went missing. I hear they've called in the FBI," Tommy explained, whispering just loud enough for Merton --and only Merton-- to hear.

Merton tried not to shiver at the fact that, in doing so, it brought Tommy close enough that Merton could *feel* the warmth of Tommy's breath tickling against his cheek.

"That's… um, wait. What? The FBI, are you sure?" Merton asked, sudden visions of Tommy being dragged off to a super sekrit government lair flashing in his head.

"That's what I heard," Tommy replied, clapping Merton on the shoulder before making an excuse about being late for class and heading off down the hall.

Merton was too busy stressing about Tommy's impending demise to remember the bow and arrow he'd carefully concealed under his frock.

~*~

Pleasantville was nothing like he'd imagined it would be.

For one thing it was neither pleasant, nor village like. There were no quaint shops or picturesque houses. The streets weren't lined with cobblestone and Martin found himself strangely disappointed.

In fact, the town was a dump, the college campus something he could easily picture being used as the backdrop in a b-grade horror movie, the kind showcasing vampires, or worse still, werewolves.

"Maybe he just ran away," Martin suggested, resisting the urge to add that, were it him, he would have. Then again, he wouldn't have come here --not willingly at least-- if his life depended on it.

"That's one option," Danny told him, smiling brightly before parking the car, cutting the engine and Martin sighed before climbing out of the car.

The police were everywhere, swarming around and likely doing more harm than good. Martin watched as the made their search of the campus grounds, destroying any evidence that might have led to them finding their missing student.

Shaking his head, he fell into step at Danny's side and let Danny lead them up to the main building.

~*~

This was it.

Clean line of sight? Check.

Tommy alone? Check.

Cupid's bow? Check.

Arrow notched? Check.

Releasing a shaking breath, Merton drew back the arrow and…

Crap!

Well, at least he had a bulletin board that was likely to fall in love with him.

Tiptoeing down the hall, using random students as cover, Merton waited until Tommy slid into his next class before darting across the hall and retrieving his arrow. There was a small slit in the bulletin board, but it still looked like a bulletin board, no smiles or flowers, and Merton hoped that meant the arrows didn't work on inanimate objects. He'd have to file a complaint if they didn't work period.

"So when was the last time you saw Steven?"

And this was interesting.

Two men in dark suits. Kind of cute. Standing shoulder to shoulder. Asking questions about some guy named Steven. And omg, the g-men!

Operation Woo Tommy was quickly replaced by Operation Throw FBI Off Tommy's Trail.

Waiting until the student they were interviewing walked away, Merton casually strolled over to them, settling on what he liked to call his 'mildly curious' smile before stopping by their side.

"Merton J. Dingle," he announced, thrusting out his hand. The pair traded glances, but made no move to shake his hand. "So you're FBI agents, what's that like?" he asked, cocking his head to the side, smile shifting from mildly curious to genuinely interested.

"Special Agent Martin Fitzgerald, this is Agent Taylor," the blond haired agent, Martin, got out before Merton intervened.

"Martin, seriously? That's so cool. Merton, Martin, Martin, Merton," Merton interjected, gesturing from himself to Martin and back again. 

Again the pair exchanged a glance.

"Are you a friend of Steven's?" the dark haired agent, the process of elimination naming him Agent Taylor, asked.

"Actually, I didn't really know him all that well. No, strike that, I've never heard of him before. I like your hair, though," Merton replied, gesturing to Agent Taylor's spiked-do.

Yet again, the pair exchanged a glance.

"If you'll excuse us," Martin finally said, glancing briefly at Merton as he spoke before turning back to lock eyes with his partner.

"Sure, no problem. Glad I could be of assistance," Merton replied, or rather, called out after them as they had already vanished around the corner.

"Gah, stupid," Merton cursed as soon as he was sure he was alone, knuckling his forehead, Operation Throw FBI Off Tommy's Trail failing miserably.

Oh well, he still had Operation Woo Tommy to occupy his time.

~*~

"That was weird," Danny commented.

"Very weird," Martin replied, the kid's shouts still echoing behind them. "You think we should check into him?" he questioned.

"Nah, he's probably just seen one too many episodes of that Without… um… well, whatever that show's called," Danny replied.

"Yeah, probably," Martin answered.

~*~

"See, the thing is, Tommy, I kind of had a run in with those guys from the FBI, and I think they might be suspicious of me, and…"

No, that wouldn't work.

"Remember those FBI agents I warned you to stay away from…"

No, that wasn't any better.

"So Tommy, how's it going? You didn't happen to notice any men in trench coats following you around today, did you?"

Hmm. That had promise, actually.

None of which would be needed, of course, if he could just get Tommy alone long enough to shoot him with an *arrow*.

Things would be simple then. Tommy would fall hopelessly in love with him and then he'd just accept anything Merton told him without Merton having to worry about Tommy freaking out and wolfing him up.

Back to The Plan, then.

~*~

This wasn't getting them anywhere. Half the school barely remembered Steven and the other half of the school seemed to think he'd been eaten by the villain of the week. Apparently Pleasantville was notorious for its villains. Another reason the town didn't qualify as pleasant.

"So let me get this straight; vampires, werewolves, swamp monsters, alien abductions, demons from other dimensions, ghosts, ghouls, zombies… am I missing anything?" Danny asked disbelievingly.

Martin shrugged before answering.

"Personally, I'm starting to suspect they need to get their water treatment plant checked over," he said, and if the town's water supply was contaminated, that could explain all the mass hallucinations people seemed to be having.

"We'll go with your theory," Danny replied, shaking his head before pushing through the doors, heading outside and toward the dorm rooms, the case becoming more frustrating by the second.

~*~

Okay, one more time, Merton told himself, hiding in the stairwell that led up to their room, Tommy on his way back from class and the second he walked through the door, bam!

Or shit.

And oops, he really didn't mean to let go of the bow string, the arrow soaring through the air, heading toward the door and…

Oh.

No. No. No.

Yep.

Hitting one of the FBI agents --Martin, Merton thought with a giggle-- in the chest.

~*~

Okay, this was officially the weirdest day of his life. In addition to hearing half the people they'd interview ramble on about things taken straight from X-Files episodes, Martin now had an arrow poking out of his chest. And he wasn't dying. Or bleeding, for that matter…

"Martin!" Danny cried next to him, instantly reaching out, fingers closing around the arrow's shaft and as soon as he touched it it turned to dust. Glittery dust, that was kind of pretty, actually. Pretty like Danny, who was standing in front of him, concerned expression on his face and…

How had he not noticed this before?

Danny was gorgeous.

Hot, actually. Perfect, in fact.

"Martin?" Danny asked tentatively, hands playing over the front of Martin's chest, fingers toying with the small rip in Martin's shirt.

"Yes, Danny," Martin asked, breath catching, heart racing and, God, those hands.

"You okay?" Danny questioned, concerned expression still firmly in place and Martin's heart melted. Danny cared about him. He really, really did.

"Perfect," Martin answered, stepping forward, bringing a hand up to cup Danny's cheek, Danny's eyes going wide just before Martin leaned forward to bring their…

~*~

"Wait, you did what?" Tommy asked, pacing the small length of their room.

"I kind of… with the… and then there was the… with the… and then they… um…"

"Kissed? You said kissed, Merton. You, wait, why did you shoot an FBI agent with Cupid's bow again?" Tommy interrupted, Merton pulling out his best 'I'm so sorry, but look how cute I am, please don't hurt me' expression.

"I… Technically," Merton began, gesturing wildly with both hands. "I didn't mean to," he finished, crinkling his forehead and hoping the explanation was enough.

"So what did you mean to do?" Tommy practically demanded, his skin rippling and Merton knew he was about two seconds away from wolfing out.

Maybe now would be a good time for Lori's plan.

Taking a deep breath, Merton walked over to the bed and sat down, releasing the breath before beginning.

"I got the bow and arrow on eBay. And I was planning on using it on… well, someone else. I was waiting, just minding my own business when, wham! The bow took on a life of its own, Tommy! It shot the arrow and, before I could stop it, mind you, those two FBI agents got in its way," Merton explained, only then glancing up, noticing that Tommy had stopped pacing and that had to be a good sign.

Didn't it?

"So now what?" Tommy asked, obviously not processing and Merton resisted the urge to roll his eyes.

"Now Martin…"

"Martin?"

"I mean, the FBI agent whose name I couldn't possibly know," Merton corrected, "has fallen in love with Agent… the other agent whose name I couldn't possible know," Merton finished, slightly proud of himself for pulling that one off.

"Is there some way to reverse it?" Tommy questioned, looking slightly panicked and it was nice that Tommy was sharing his stress.

Granted, it would have been nicer if Tommy was sharing his bed, but Merton wasn't going to focus on that now.

"I don't know, maybe… give me a second," Merton answered, practically flying across the room to search his database for known cures to Cupid's arrow.

~*~

He was vaguely aware that Danny was trying to say something. Only vaguely, mind you, because it was hard to make out anything Danny was saying, Martin's tongue happily occupying Danny's tongue and that tended to lend itself to slurred speech.

Still, anything Danny had to say had to be important, Danny being important, so Martin pulled back, whimpering slightly at the loss, panting against the sudden abundance of air.

"Mmm," he managed, opening his eyes to find Danny blinking at him.

"Um, I, that is… um, actually, never mind," Danny answered, pulling Martin back against him.

Martin smiled into the kiss.

~*~

"You're sure this is going to work, right?" Tommy asked, Merton waving off his concern.

"Please, Tommy. In all the time you've known me, have any of my concoctions not worked?" Merton answered, adding the final dash of sea salt to his mixture.

"Well, there was that one…"

"Wait, don't answer that," Merton clarified, not really wanting to relieve *that* particular experiment.

And there, it was done. Now all he needed to do was sprinkle some on top of Agent Martin and the spell would be broken.

"Okay, come on," Merton said, the jar of fine white powder clenched to his chest.

He led the way out of the room, sneaking quietly down the hall, inhaling and releasing several breaths before starting down the stairs.

"Wait. How are we going to find them?" Tommy asked beside him, already in wolf form and Merton didn't answer.

He was too busy staring at the two agents, both of them exactly where he'd left them.

"I don't think that's going to be a problem," Merton answered, pointing them out, Tommy frowning as he spotted them.

"I thought you said you only shot the one agent?" Tommy questioned, clearly confused and Merton once again resisted the urge to roll his eyes.

"Please, Tommy. Agent Taylor… I mean, the other agent was already clearly in love with M… the guy I shot. Anyone could see it," Merton answered, Tommy nodding as the realization dawned.

Reaching the bottom of the stairs, Merton took out a handful of dust, placing it in the palm of his hand. Three steps away, he held his hand out, Tommy taking a deep breath, holding it in for several seconds longer than strictly necessary before releasing it, the powder flying into the air, coating both the agents until they shimmered.

~*~

Danny, Martin had discovered, was a very good kisser. In fact, he was starting to suspect Danny was pretty much good at everything. And if the way his hips were rocking was any indication…

And wait.

What?

Where the hell was he?

Blinking, Martin drew back, eyes squinting as he brought Danny's face into focus. Had they just been kissing? When the hell had that happened?

"Um, Danny?" Martin asked, Danny opening his eyes, shaking his head a little before reaching forward, grabbing a hold of Martin's shirt and pulling him forward.

And yeah, he was kissing Danny. Which actually wasn't too bad. In fact, it was pretty good. Really good, Martin realized, once again letting himself get lost in Danny's arms.

~*~

It should have worked. He'd followed the instructions to the letter. Every pinch a pinch, every dash a dash. He'd even managed to find fresh ground saffron (and the author so mary-sued herself in), which was a bitch to find this time of the year.

"I don't know what happened; it should have worked," Merton said, not really talking to anyone in particular, just needing to say the thought out loud.

Moving back over to his computer, Merton sank into his chair, flipped his monitor on and began searching for something that might nullify the affects of Cupid's arrow and… wait a second.

"Tommy! This wasn't Cupid's arrow. This was Eros's arrow!" Merton exclaimed, Tommy frowning before shaking his head.

"Eros, as in the *Greek* God of Love. His arrow doesn't make people fall in love, it reveals a person's soul mate," Merton explained, already planning on writing eBay a nasty letter for false advertising.

"Well that's good, right? I mean, it means you don't have to find a cure," Tommy replied, clearly relieved and yeah, okay, he was right.

"Yeah, I guess. Guess it's a good thing I didn't use it on you, then," Merton answered, registering too late that he'd said too much.

"I mean… not that I would… I didn't… you're not… eek."

And shit, Tommy was staring at him, choosing this exact moment to lose his clueless-ness and Merton prayed to every deity he knew for someone to open a portal beneath him and suck him into another dimension.

"Wait, you were planning on using that on me?" Tommy asked, sounding almost flattered and Merton knew what was coming.

Rejection. Scorn. Disgust. The story of his life, actually.

"Um…"

"Wow, I… why didn't you just say something?" Tommy continued, and suddenly Tommy was standing a lot closer than he had been a moment before, right in Merton's space and Merton swallowed hard before speaking.

"You're not going to, you know, eat me, or something, are you?" he got out, voice barely audible through his fear.

Tommy didn't answer, instead shaking his head, leaning forward and before Merton could faint from worry, Tommy was kissing him.

And huh.

Tommy was kissing him.

He was so going to have to send Lori a thank-you card.

~*~

Martin's back hit the mattress harder than he'd planned, his entire body collapsing, the air rushing out of his lungs and all Martin could do was lay there and pant.

Fortunately, Danny was just as bad, Danny sprawled out next to him, their shoulders pressed together and Martin blinked up at the ceiling.

"That was…" Danny began.

"Pleasant?" Martin offered, Danny laughing at the word and a second later Martin found himself joining in.

"Yeah, very pleasant," Danny replied, shifting onto his side, arm sliding around Martin's waist.

And technically, they still had a missing student to find, and Jack would likely fire them if they spent the entire investigation locked up in their hotel room, but for now Martin was more than happy to curl up at Danny's side.


End file.
